The holidays will be here soon, and many are anxious about gift-giving. Currently, this is the topic people are asking me about. They remember last year that gifts detracted from the joy of the holiday itself. Some were overwhelmed by all the gifts they received. Others were made to feel less than because they misunderstood expectations for buying gifts. And this year, budgets are tight for many families.
Here’s why people feel this way:
- 25% of Americans are still paying off debt from last holiday season, according to WalletHub; and
- 31% of 2024 holiday shoppers who used credit cards still haven’t paid off the balances. The same is true for 31% of 2024 holiday travelers who used a credit card for their travel expenses, according to NerdWallet.
- 53% of Americans admit to opening up at least one unwanted holiday gift each year, per Finder.com data;
- In 2024, Americans spent around $10.1 billion on presents no one wants, per Finder.com data;
What if you did something different this year? Here are a few ways to talk to your family about simplifying the holidays.
Set The Table For The Conversation
Discuss gift giving with your spouse or partner first. It always helped to set the table ahead of time for the conversation. Determine your holiday budget, including gift giving, travel, and entertainment. Make a plan for your immediate family before you discuss it with your extended family.
Schedule a time with extended family, as soon as possible, to discuss the holidays. Start by talking about traditions you enjoy at Christmas. Whether it is cooking, baking, or doing karaoke. Remind them of the fun you had last year and suggest you do it again. Then, start the gifts conversation.
Be curious and ask questions.
- Does everyone want to exchange gifts?
- What kind of budget makes sense this year?
- If you have a budget, make it known that you love your family and you have a holiday budget.
Ask them to respect your budget and know that others will likely be thankful that you brought up the conversation. Remember what you can afford and your budget are not the same. You will encounter people who disagree with how you budget your money. But it’s still your money.
Provide Specific Gift Ideas
Once you’ve established a budget, had the conversation, and everyone is on the same page, ask and offer gift ideas. Suggest useful and specific items that won’t become clutter. Include consumable items so others understand your desire to simplify Christmas gift-giving. Ensure the items are under budget to reinforce your desire to simplify.
Offer Gift Giving Alternatives
Gifts do not have to be physical items. In fact, studies show that experiential gifts are remembered longer than physical gifts and create a deeper level of satisfaction with the gift. They even strengthen the relationship with the gift giver. Children and adults are far more likely to remember a shared experience gift than any physical gift.
“Things accumulate in physical space and must eventually be disposed of,” said Steven Crane, MS, a community health and research scholar at Stanford’s Behavior Design Lab, in a December 2023 blog post on giving experiences. “Experiences only accumulate in our memories, our digital photo albums, and ideally in the shared history we build with important people in our lives. They represent a great opportunity to share an experience or adventure with our friends and family.”
When discussing end-of-year holiday gifts, suggest that instead of exchanging gifts, you enjoy a shared experience together. You can attend a show, movie, or ice skating, and dinner out. For larger budgets, you can plan a trip together. Years ago, we switched from physical gifts to a shared trip with family, and my son looked forward to it every year — no matter when we took the trip.
Remember, change takes time. Be patient with family members who resist. Respect the joy they get from gift giving, but be firm about your family budget. Start by setting the table for the conversation. They might surprise you with how receptive they are to simplifying gift-giving. And they’ll appreciate saving money, too.
How will you simplify gift giving this year?
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